So, flush with the success of my first two hats from Boutique Knits, I thought I’d go crazy and knit a third one, this time with Fair Isle because I was feeling sassy.
I cast on 4 times 19 stitches, which equals 96, right?
[Ed.: This woman cast on half-asleep, while watching Intervention: Meth Mountain, instead of taking a nap during the toddler’s naptime. While watching less sensationalist fare, such as Law & Order: SVU, and while at least two-thirds awake, she is perfectly capable of simple multiplication.]
It was really, really fast! And really small! I pre-gifted it to my noticeably big-headed daughter and told myself it would stretch with time. I finished the ribbing during 3-year-old soccer practice, and was so full of hubris that I documented that for posterity.
I cheerfully started doing the colorwork after kids’ bedtime [Ed.: Still tired!], only to find that it didn’t seem to compute.
I even had the audacity to search for errata online.
Then it just came to me, as if the gods who monitor for knitting hubris had seen the red point that represents me flickering wildly on some computer screen.
4 times 19 is 76. 76 is not 96, nor will it ever be, however much I yell at the tangled pile of frogged hat on the floor.